I used to watch the Home Alone movies during Christmas. I enjoyed watching young Macaulay Culkin, left stranded in New York city, battle it out with the bad guys. I don't recall him fearing because he is all alone. I am not as brave as him.
Ever since a bad experience 3 years back in Malaysia, I fear being put in a vulnerable spot. It never fails to trigger the same emotions of helplessness in me.
Perhaps loneliness is an universal fear. Even the most successful man can experience loneliness, maybe even more. We read daily celebrities being hooked on drugs, sex and alcohol. No success or popularity can buy you satisfaction of the soul. It is no good being whole on the outside when you are broken on the inside.
What is the result of loneliness? Loneliness drives people to find something/someone to fill the need. Regrettably after the Fall, we try to fill this need in all the wrong places. Loneliness has caused me to do all sorts of silly things, and to hurt those I love too.
Is loneliness such a bad thing then? Not quite. A W Tozer said, "Most of the world's greatest souls have been lonely." I humbly assume that the statement is valid only on the premise that loneliness drives them to the right source, the perfect source that drives out all fear.
Do you (I am making a big assumption someone reads my blog, haha) have a similar fear of loneliness? I think honest acknowledgment is the first step. Being in denial, based on personal experience, only serve to snowball the implications. Don't try to paper over the cracks or put up a facade (reminder to self). By posting this entry, I am taking the first step to being healed. Somehow, i feel a certain heaviness lifted in my heart. It is not so fearful to be honest after all.
On a side note, I have to find true courage soon. I am going to New York city in couple of weeks. Haha!
1 comment:
Go bro! Keep being courageous! :)
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