"It is easy to say we love others, but difficult to allow them the freedom inherent in love. When they do not want to do what we want them to, then we “hunt them down and kill them” in various ways. We pout, cry out angrily, send guilt messages, and attempt to control them. These actions kill freedom and will, and eventually, they will kill love. Love cannot exist without freedom, and freedom cannot exist without responsibility. We must own and take responsibility for what is ours, and that includes our disappointment in not getting everything we want from another person. The disappointment that comes from our loved ones exercising their freedom is our responsibility. We must deal with it. This is the only way to keep love alive.”
- Excerpt from Changes that Heal by Dr. Henry Cloud
This speaks to me personally and also when I thought about the situation surrounding someone in my cell group. When I don’t get what I want or someone doesn’t respond the way I hope, I make my negative feelings known and let the person “have a piece of me”.
Letting others deal with your feelings is really immature and stifles the person’s growth as well.
The book also talks about how the Fall has caused us to lose our sense of boundaries. We own what does not belong to us (other people’s responses) and refuse to own what belongs to us (our own feelings)!
Lord I got to learn.
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